© 2011 nader Picture 4

The Benjamin Button Bartender

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 I learned how to bartend backwards. Most of us had humble beginnings, exploring the trade behind a restaurant bar or in a dive, perhaps working our way up through cocktail waitressing or bar backing. Not me. I learned how to make eight ingredient drinks with a whip, a hard shake and a fine strain before I ever held a soda gun in my hand.

My best friend and I dropped out of college and moved to New York City in 2006. She got a job right away at Boss Tweeds in the Lower East Side. I would sit at the bar keeping her company, as she fumbled her way through Jäger shots and car bombs to the tune of cat calls and wert whirls doled out by the creme de la creme of NYC Douchedom. A few months passed and she blossomed into a pro; far better looking than any promo girl, super fast, pours perfect, awesome cleavage, and a walking lexicon of cheeky comeback lines. All of Douchedom was drooling. She had a regular that would tip her $1,000 every time he came in, no joke. I was in awe of her. She wanted to get me a job but I was too chicken to even set foot behind a bar…read more after the JUMP

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